The “Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) predicts that global temperatures are likely to increase by 1.1 to 6.4 °C (2.0 to 11.5 °F) between 1990 and 2100.” Okay, so maybe you have absolutely no interest in discussing global warming on the www.middleagedmale.com website. It has nothing to do with your interests in cars, motorcycles, sports, music, gambling or women. That is where you are wrong! Women have everything to do with global warming. Since man’s quest for fire we have worked to provide heat, transportation, energy, contests of manly ability, and clothing to impress women. Now, I know that some middle aged males have moved from the standard heterosexual focus and I do not plan on insulting those that do not find the female a perplexing yet desirable mate. If you are a middle aged male looking for the right middle aged male to spend your life with, this is not yuor blog entry. Same sex relationships are fine for some of you and there are plenty of websites for you to discover yourself. As a matter of fact it would be like hanging out with all your male buddies to discuss sports, drink beer, laugh and joke about life. Until you get to the “sex thing” that would be the time that I would need to leave the company of my buddies and return to the company of my woman!
In Christianity it is widely accepted that a woman, Eve, caused the fall of man, Adam. Now let me point out that it is also Adam’s fault that he ate the apple offered by the serpent through his mate. Where was Adam when Eve was given the apple by satan’s messenger? Well, he was more than likely standing right next to Eve. After all, if you knew a naked woman was in your garden, where would you be? Standing right next to her and watching her every move. That’s where it started and that is when women began changing the world’s climate.
Michael Crichton writes of the hoax of global warming in his book State of Fear and Al Gore tells of the attack of global warming on our earth in his documentary “An Inconvenient Truth.” If we are increasing the world’s temperatures through our activity and production of greenhouse gases, it is women who are to blame. Between work and middle age, the first part of our lives, we do what we can to impress the opposite sex. At middle age and beyond we still work to impress by trying to recapture the first part of our lives. Whether you are on Mr. Crichton’s side or pitch your tent in Mr. Gore’s camp you must admit that if global warming does exist, there is overwhelming evidence that women are the cause. We are also talking about the gender where the discriptive terms “frigid” and “hot flash” are used.
My family and I live in a very cold part of the United States. My wife, like most women, is always cold. She requires a constant fire in the wood stove, and the electric heaters running overtime to keep warm. Electricity generation and the burning of wood contributes directly to global warming. I am sure this example is repeated throughout the world.
When you see a middle aged man in a fast car, riding a new Harley Davidson Motorcycle, or gambling and smoking a cigar at his favorite Vegas table, what is it he normally has or wants next to him? That is right, a woman. Their influence has always been global and their effect on global warming if felt throughout the world. Civilizations have begun, prospered and fallen because of women.
Some scientists feel that livestock (especially cattle) contribute to global warming through production of excess methane gas in the for of flatus (passing the gas). Middle aged men also begin an increase production of flatus by passing gas caused by meals prepared primarily by women. Just another example.
So whether you believe in global warming or not, you know that we may be powerless to stop its onset. We know that at middle age there is no way we will be able to stop the influence of woman in our lives and stop global warming!
Accurate, or just stupid? What do you think?
Next time let’s begin with what will be a constant study of a topic we will revisit on several occasions;“Patience and the middle aged male.”
