So, as a middle aged male have you become a “plucker”, “trimmer”, or do you just let it grow uncontrollably from every direction?  What I am describing is a middle aged event that begins quietly but then, overnight, you notice something changing on both sides of your head and the middle of your face.  The phenomenon is the uncontrolled and indiscriminate growth of ear and nose hair.  That’s right, when most of us are worrying about losing the hair on our head, we are able to grow a plethora of hair on the surfaces of our ears and hair of untold length begin to emerge from our nostrils. Especially troubling is the hair that grows in the center of the ear and that in some older men looks like a Chia Pet gone mad.

I did some research on the subject on the beloved internet and discovered that the concern with ear and nose hair is not only voiced by me.  Men as young as thirty are asking ways to combat unwanted ear and nose hair growth that invades their manly features.  Now, as my blog name suggests (BaldJon) you may have realized that I am without much hair on my head.  When I started noticing the hair in my ears and tried to discuss it seriously with other men my age, they suggested I transplant it to the top of my head or allow it to grow for a unique comb over.  Neither idea, although strongly considered, had much promise.  I realized quickly that it is best not to discuss the subject, especially with friends whose ears look like a porcupine has burrowed itself into the ear canal.  Reading the net, many suggest that shaving or trimming is the best approach since plucking can lead to sores open to infection, several of which sounded very disgusting. 

Now, I purchased a pair of trimmers designed to gently trim unwanted hair in the ears and nose.  Realizing the trimmer required two AAA batteries, I rummaged through the kitchen junk drawer and found two batteries and placed them in the trimmer.  The trimmer sprung to life with 200 rpm of cutting efficiency. I gently placed the trimmer to my unwanted nose hair and immediately realized that I needed new batteries.  The 200 rpm quickly slowed down like an overworked weed eater in long grass and wrapped the hairs around the motorized mechanism.  I now felt the tears welling in my eyes as I tried to determine how I was going to free myself from the device that was now entangled in nose hair that are apparently hooked directly to nerves through my groin down to my toes.  I gently turned the unit back in the opposite direction thinking it would unwind.  Most did, but using the band aid analogy of pull fast and it won’t hurt, I yelled in pain as the hairs that had not unwound ripped from my nose.  I determined a new approach was needed.  I now lock the bathroom door and gently use small scissors to clip the little devils that dare to pass the borders of my nostrils.  You must lock the door so you are not mocked by your family or startled so the scissors are driven deep into your nose or eye; a difficult injury to explain at the emergency room.

So now I hope each of you has found some comfort in the experience of another middle aged male living with the unwanted ear and nose hair growth.   It is liberating being able to share with you some of the trials of middle age.  You are not alone.