Middle Aged Crazy Male

It's hell getting old

MiddleAgedMan — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 10:45:12 GMT

You know, I've heard people complain all my life about getting old and always thought it was mostly just griping.

I was incorrect.

Last year I hurt my back just a little, now the slightest thing makes it act up again. I know it's not a serious injury but it still hurts.

Every day it gets a little harder to get out of bed without groaning just a little, and when I take a long trip I'm stiff when I get there (and not in the good way like when I was younger).

Thank god I'm not losing my hair, my prostate is fine, and I'm not incontinent, but damn this just isn't fair.

I'm not even sure that a beach, tall, 25 year old amply endowed blond, and a bottle of rum would cure me.

Be worth a shot though.

Reading material for us middle aged guys

Boomer — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 07:20:00 GMT

Just now, on my morning break from Work, I was reading a magazine. I like to do that because it allows me to go somewhere else in my mind besides Work. ( Actually, going to the Seventh Level of Hell would be an improvement over being at Work. ) The magazine was a copy of Esquire which I find to be, for the most part, smartly written, funny, informative and entertaining. That, and the frequent references to sex and overheated women don't hurt. Back at my desk I began to wonder if there was an Esquire for middle aged men. Perhaps there is and I am just unaware of it. ( I spend a lot of time with car magazines. ) I think the basic premise of the magazine could easily transfer. For instance, the pictorial articles on different types of clothing for different situations. Most of these guys are sharp dressers. Most of these guys are also young. None of these guys have gray hair. The write-ups on travel could pretty well cross over intact. I would gear the stories on food and drink a little differently and the politics may need tweaking some. Now, I am most definitely not advocating a periodical similar to AARP or Oprah, but it would be nice to have informative, instructive reading that speaks to me about where I'm at presently. And if it were to include a few articles on sex and overheated long-time marital partners, hey, so much the better!

Our First Birthday!

Boomer — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 07:16:09 GMT

Today will mark the 1 year anniversary of this blog. Overall, it has been a blast doing this but blogging take a lot more time than I thought a year ago. I actually have a couple of different ones and MiddleAgedMale.com sometimes gets neglected but I'll work on changing that.

In the meantime, we're still getting plenty of hits and if there is a topic you want to see discussed, a post you want to discuss, or if you want to be a guest blogger, just let me know. Most comments are posted "as is" although I strike the SPAM before it ever makes it to the board.

Thank you for your support of this blog and I look forward to more years of discussing what ails us.

Vacation isn't what it used to be - Boomer's First Blog Entry

Boomer — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 07:06:00 GMT

It has become something of a tradition with my daughter and me to do something out-of-the-ordinary on our annual vacation. We started simply enough, years ago by traveling to Florida to see the Atlanta Braves at Spring Training. One year we got our ears pierced. Another time it was tattoos. Last year we decided to learn to surf. We got ourselves some boards and leashes and even bought a teaching video. Hey, how hard can it be? Damned hard! We paddled out to sit on our boards and await the waves that we would gloriously ride onto the beach. At first it wasn't too bad. Except that only days before I had gotten a buzz haircut and, out there on the high seas, my scalp quickly scorched. Then when we finally tried to ride a few waves, the fun really began. The wax that we had put on the boards to help our feet grip when we stood up, would grip the skin on our bellies and cause nasty friction burns. Sometimes we would ride a little ways, most times we would fall off. Sometimes the board would hit us in the head. Sometimes our heads would hit the sandy bottom. Sometimes we would drink large draughts of seawater. When the jellyfish began to school around us, we figured we'd had enough. I had no trouble sleeping that night but did feel a little worse for the wear the next day.We went back a few more times that summer, never really getting the hang of it. This summer she wants to go hang gliding. Hmmmm. How hard can that be?

Introducing Boomer, a new guest blogger

MiddleAgedMan — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 06:57:00 GMT

From time to time I'm honored to have other people interested in authoring blog entries for this blog/website.

In this case it is "Boomer", a middle aged male who describes himself as "Married 25 years with two children; a son, 21, and a daughter, 19. I live in South Carolina in a house whose ownership is shared by myself and the bank and work as an assistant accountant with 14-plus years on the job at the local telephone company".

Look for his first blog entry and hopefully many more to follow.

Scottish Highland Games

MiddleAgedMan — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 07:19:00 GMT

I'm not sure that it really fits the blog, but what the hell.

I recently attended a Texas "Gathering of the Clans" and "Highland Games". I had heard about this type of festival for years, but had ...just ...never...gotten...around...to going.

There are apparently a BUNCH of people with either real or fantasized Scottish roots who get together occasionally (think Renaissance Festivals and add kilts) to drink, sing, dance, drink, compete, play and drink.

There was a hammer throw, which is a weight attached to the end of a pole which is then grabbed by big chested men (unfortunately not big chested and scantily clad women) and chunked over their shoulder. There's a caber toss, which is basically a log they chunk upright, and a stone throw which is a form of shotput.

In addition there were sheepdog competitions, lots of Celtic music, lots of bagpipes, and lots of food.

As to bagpipes, I know they're not for everyone but I like them. When the Drum and Bagpipe Corps started up and marched around the perimeter of the festival I actually got goosebumps.

The people at the festival take it very, very seriously. Let me repeat, the people at the festival take it very, very seriously. Everyone was extremely nice, and being loud and uproarious wasn't frowned upon, but being disrespectful to the concept was.

I was amazed that so many men would be wearing kilts. I honestly believe there were more kilts than pants there. Several of the women had modified kilts, the modifications being that they weren't as bulky, weren't as concealing, and were short. Very, very impressive.

It was a very entertaining time, and for those of us in our 40s and above, we are trying to squeeze in all the entertainment we can.

I'll close with a note on a t-shirt I saw. It was from www.got-kilt.com. The front said, obviously "Got Kilt?" in the Got Milk? type lettering.

On the back it said:

"It's a kilt. If I worse something under it, then it would be a skirt."

Gin: The New Vodka?

MiddleAgedMan — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 09:17:00 GMT

Actually, gin was fashionable waaaaay before vodka found its' niche. Many of you may remember Bogart dipping river water into a glass then adding gin as his boat makes its' way up the river in The African Queen.

Vodka is obviously the now, happening, and cool drink. While I love good vodka, gin definitely has a place in my heart.

As many of you know, the distinctive taste of gin is derived from Juniper berries. Gin has a long and varied history, and is available in several forms. Rather than repeating them all in this blog entry, I will simply provide a link to the wikipedia entry, shich contains interesting information for the beverage conneseiur.

Probably the most famous gin drink is the original Martini, simply gin, a hint of vermouth, and an olive or two. Vodka Martinis seem to dominate the market today, but occasionally a gin Martini is nice as the tast of gin adds a complexity to the Martini which vodka cannot achieve.

For those of you who drink Screwdrivers (vodka and orange juice), I strongly suggest you try and gin and orange juice (which I have heard is called a Orange Blossom). The complex flavor of the gin blends exceedingly well with the OJ and makes for a much, much more enjoyable drink. I have convinced several friends to try this and have never had anyone say they preferred screwdrivers afterward.

A popular ethnic drink was made evern more famous by Snoop Dogg in "Gin n' Juice", the juice here referring to grapefruit juice. Unfortunately, no matter how much gin I add I can never kille the grapefruit taste, so this drink isn't for me, but if you're a fan of the overgrown cousin to the orange, give it a try.

As far as brands, my preference leans to Tanqueray and Sapphire, although there are a number of other good brands and the differences in taste vary almost as much as the differences in assorted brands of Scotch.

Two red wine recommendations

MiddleAgedMan — Mon, 07 May 2007 17:48:00 GMT

The first wine I want to mention was suggested to me by a waiter at Truluck's Restaurant in Austin. I was looking for a nice red wine which would hold up to their Goat Cheese Napoleon, a dish which is a medallion of goat cheese encrusted in pecan meal and then lightly pan fried. it is served with a mescalun mix and with a red pepper coulee.

While I would normally order a white, since I always have the crab claws and seafood as an entrée, I was really in the mood for a red and asked the waiter for a suggestion. His choice was a Pinot Noir made by a California winery called Radog. I was a little suspicious at first, since a glass of the wine was $15.50 and the bottle was $62, the most expensive Pinot Noir on the list, but I didn't want to insult him and so decided to try it. I was confident that if it had not been worth the price Truluck's would have taken it off the bill.

That wasn't necessary. The Radog Pinot Noir was the best I have ever had. As I've said before, my palate isn't sophisticated enough to taste chocolate, berries, or any of the other things I have heard people say they taste but I do know what I like and what I don't. I like the Radog very much.

I believe it is available over the internet and I would highly recommend you give it a try. If you do, tell them you heard about it here. I don't make anything off of it, but I would like for more people to visit the site.

The second wine I am recommending is a "wine in a box". I had been reading about the health benefits of a glass of red wine a day. While I'm not a connoisseur, I can tell when a wine has been open for a couple of days and thought the wine in a box might be a good choice. The fellow at the liquor store was NO help since I asked him for a recommendation and his only response was a semi snarled "they're all about the same".

He was wrong.

I purchased a box which is the equivalent of four bottles, and chose a 2004 Merlot, made by Black Box Wines. I have tasted several others, and found them drinkable, but not something I would order or choose. I am happy to say that this wine was different.

While it doesn't compare to many of the better wines I've consumed, it goes extremely well with a grilled steak, or just by itself, to be sipped on when I choose. I've had this box open for over a month with little or no discernible loss in flavor. Plus, it was around $20 for the box so it is economical as well.

If you want an inexpensive red, or are hosting a party where a box wine is appropriate, or just want to drink a glass a day, this one gets a thumbs up from me.

Is gravity stronger at the beach?

MiddleAgedMan — Mon, 07 May 2007 11:02:03 GMT

I'm headed back to Negril, Jamaica, in a couple of weeks this time sans wife. We're still married but she has lost a lot of time from work due to an illness in the family and we just didn't think it would be cool for her to ask for a week off to lay on the beach, plus she needs to remain close in case anything else happens.

So...she's still pouting and I know I should feel bad for going without her, and I would but...I really, REALLY want to go.

I intend to take some of the time down there to work on one of my unfinished writing projects (40K words finished, only 80K more to go) but that's not the reason for this blog entry.

As I usually do when a trip is on the horizon I start daydreaming and surfing websites to get in the mood. I was looking at a couple earlier and there were people inquiring about tours, and what all they should see and do. It is obvious that they are the type of people who go to a tropical resort and must be entertained.

I, however, am one of those who are adversely affected by the gravitational pull of the sand. I don't mean because my belly hangs lower when I don't wear a shirt, I mean that it seems like it's lot harder to get up off my ass and do something when the surf is gently lapping at the shore and a gentle breeze is blowing from the sea.

When I went to Washington, D.C., I did all the sights. In London, I was on a tight schedule due to work obligations, but still managed to grab a tour bus and look the city over, exiting where appropriate and sightseeing before boarding the next bus. In San Francisco, I took advantage of the mass transit opportunities and saw most of the city.

But once my feet hit warm sand...it's over.

Another curious thing. The gravity lightens considerably when my drink cup is empty, but returns full force after a visit to the beach bar refills it.

Hmmm....this is going to require further research.

Let you know how it pans out.

Life Lists

MiddleAgedMan — Thu, 03 May 2007 16:53:38 GMT

I was skimming through a magazine article the other day and realized that I have been lucky enough to do a lot of things other people dream about. I've traveled a good deal, eaten at some of the finer restaurants, and lived a pretty good life, especially for someone from a very small town.

But I realized my life list was still incomplete, so I thought I'd jot down a few here and, if anyone else wants to share theirs, invite them to do so.

I want to visit the Greek Islands using either a yacht or a huge sailboat as my base of operations.

Once, in Hawaii, I went into a shark cage with reef sharks schooling around me but now I want to do the same thing with a Great White and as long as I'm discussing sharks I'd also like to free swim with the schooling Hammerheads in the Sea of Cortez and swim with a Whale Shark.

I do not want to skydive.

I have written one book, fulfilling one life goal but now I want to publish one or more.

I want to make a movie.

I want a date with Gina Gershon (although I realize all of the other wishes are more likely to happen).

I want to do a tour of Scotland, focusing on Scotch distilleries and the Guinness factory.

I want to win a major poker tournament.

I want to find a relic of historical significance (such as the Twin Sisters cannons from Texas history).

I want to get into good enough shape to surf one of the bug wave spots on the North Shore of Oahu.

These are just a few of the things on my list.

Middle Aged Males- Are we failures as fathers?

BaldJon — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 09:37:00 GMT

Watching the news lately I found myself amazed by the actions of teenagers in our world. We watch as teenage girls beat one another and post it on www.youtube.com. We shake our heads as young men walk into malls and schools and kill. We grimace as we listen to the music of adolescents and count the negative thoughts and use of the curse words in common language. We try to understand why gangs with our youth are growing throughout this country. In short, the teenagers of our country are scaring the hell out of us!

Let me put this carefully so each of you understands it. WE, AS MIDDLE AGED MALES, ARE THE FATHERS OF THIS GENERATION! Let it soak in so you can empathize properly and fathom your portion of the responsibility. The fathers of these youth are the middle aged males of today. We have spawned the generation that we currently watch with horror and dismay. Have we not worked to raise them with honor and moral focus? Have we failed to protect them from the influences of violent games, angry music, graphic video, and rampant technology? Do you find yourself saying: It's not my fault, I did the best I could. Has your best sucked?

One of the great tell tale quotes from a character played by Keanu Reeves in the 1989 movie Parenthood was "You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father." Let's face it; some of us should have never fathered children.

I personally do not think it is too late to bring these children back before they become an adult generation that fathers the next generation. It can not be done by one person, but it can be done by each of you. You do not need to focus on kids you do not know. You do not need to focus on kids that are not yours, although some of you will step up and save children you did not father. Focus on the children you fathered. Now, if you do not love your children, please walk quietly into the sunset and find a rock to crawl under or a group of caring middle aged males to soundly beat the crap out of you.

If you are non existent, disconnected, estranged, or distant from your children, it is time to reconnect. Call them, talk to them, or just take them out to eat. If you can't look them in the eye, tell them you love them and hug them with the reassurance of a father, then show them you love them with time and attention.

There are some great people throughout this country that are working with the adolescents that we have failed. Churches, social organizations, law enforcement gang intervention personnel, and coaches are influencing our children, but not at as fast as we fathered them. Step up, it is not too late or are you going to remain one of the "butt-reaming assholes" that Keanu talked about?

Do you need to share your thoughts about your successes or failures about fatherhood? Let us know at www.middleagedmale.com.

The Great Deception of Home Improvement

BaldJon — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 09:35:00 GMT

Businesses thrive because of the interests and purchasing power of the middle aged male. Home Depot, Lowes, and other home improvement mega stores are testament to the fact that we are willing and able to repair, recondition, and renovate our homes with the products we see during our time in these stores.

As men, we traditionally shop like we would hunt wild game. We know exactly what we are out to get. We want to get into the store and move directly and deliberately toward our prey. We want few choices and great prices. If we speak to anyone it is with the intent of decreasing our time in the store by mapping the best course to the item we are searching for in any store. We will purposefully stride quickly with heads down through the sprawling acres of women undergarments in any J.C. Penney, Dillard's, or Macy's to decrease the steps needed to reach our target. Truthfully, many of us may actually peak at the offerings at the racks around us that line the aisles and wonder if they would look good on our women.

Then we were witness to a renaissance of store openings that birthed the home improvement store beyond the standard hardware store. Middle aged males were propelled into the world of purchasing items for the improvement of our homes. Tools, lumber, gas grills, lawn implements, security cameras, light fixtures, faucets, as well as a cornucopia of things that awaken the creative designer in all of us. We will spend more time in these stores simply walking the aisles visualizing how each item would fit into our lives. Light switches that activate with motion sensors, automatic timers that turn on our newly installed lawn sprinklers, and the tools. Power tools, hand tools, personalized tools, tools that come aerodynamically designed, ergonomically enhanced, and have the possibility of being packaged with a brightly colored combination flashlight/radio/stepstool fitted with a stylish roll cage, free with every tool set purchase!

Now, the only association that we failed to make during our recent visit to our amusement park of improvement was that most of the items sold involve additional work and time. The laminates, gadgets, and new drawer hardware do not install themselves. At a time when gambling, fishing, golfing, sporting events, and leisure activities become more affordable and necessary, I am contemplating purchasing 785 square feet of wood laminate flooring for our sun room. This purchase will impress my wife far more than driving to the casino with the $1,200 I will spend installing the floor. The floor installation also allows me to spend quality time with my wife standing above me as project superintendent of my home improvement task.

Then I understood the great deception and conspiracy. During my time in the Home Depot and Lowe's, my wife had been with me. She was right beside me nodding her head in approval as her creatively talented and mechanically inclined middle aged male contemplated every project. She steered and coerced me through paint, wall paper, kitchen cupboards, and light fixtures. She teased me with the promise of tools and audio visual enhancements. Her mission was clear to me now.

I confronted her with her trickery; she smiled coyly and made a promise.

I am so excited; we are going to Home Depot this afternoon!!!

Vegas Baby! The Last Day

MiddleAgedMan — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 09:41:00 GMT

We awoke, still stuffed and a little hung over after our excursion to the Strip and the fancy life. To start the day off properly I threw open the curtain, letting the exceedingly bright sunshine of Vegas flood the room, scar my retinas, and send HH into a screaming fit. Luckily, the pillow he kept pressed over his face prevented the screams from bothering anyone on any other floors of the hotel.

Eventually we dragged our way from our room to Fitzgerald's, a fairly crappy little casino almost at the end of Fremont Street, or at least the covered portion of it.

I wanted to play poker but when I got to the poker room there all I saw was a single bored dealer who promptly began shilling fot the tournament which would start at noon. The entry fee was only $35, so I decided to give it a try and paid in advance since I could hear the siren sound of the craps table downstairs and it wouldn't be unusual for it to suck all the money from my pocket.

The craps table was empty when we arrived, but to be honest, so was most of the casino. Usually shooting craps with only one or two players creates a money hemorrhage, but this time it wasn't as bad. We lost money, made money, lost money, etc, etc. I can stand that, so we stayed until the poker tournament started at which point I went upstairs and HH continue to roll the bones. There were a few other players by that time. Usually when I leave, HH promptly starts making money, probably by cheating which he knows I wouldn't allow, or else he just lies to me about how much money he makes. Either is possible.

I played for about an hour and a half of the tournament before busting out. I didn't mind too much as I caught a bad beat and was about ready to leave anyway.

A word about poker etiquette. Since poker has made its' way onto television and people like Mike "The Mouth" Matusow and Phil Hellmuth have become household names, a lot of players have become enamored of the "trash talking" method of playing poker. It may be effective if you've got the chops to back it up, but really it usually makes you look like an asshole.

Take this game for example. We had a table full of polite, competent players. We were all enjoying the game until tables combined and we picked up a player who was LOUD. Apparently he believed everybody wanted to know all about him and his life and pitiful excuses for experiences. At one point he called the waitress over and asked if the bar could make him a Jagermeister and Red Bull.

First, GAG!

Second, when the waitress assured him the bartender would make it for him we were treated to a 15 minute diatribe, in a loud voice, about how that was his favorite drink, how the drink always got him f**ked up, how he was gonna have a bunch of them, how he was gonna get f**ked up, how f**ked up he'd been before, etc, etc.

If you're going to be an asshole at least be a quiet asshole.

Anyway, I busted out of the tournament and we began our usual method of gambling, wandering from casino to casino playing whatever we felt like. Luckily, in Downtown you don't waste much time walking as the casinos are very convenient and nowhere near the size of the ones on the Strip.

We eventually ended up at the Vegas Club, which served as our home base for the rest of the day. Be sure and read an earlier blog entry about their "liberal rules" blackjack table.

Nothing really exciting happened that day other than a lot of gambling with a lot of ups and downs. We decided to end our last night in Vegas by eating an early morning meal at the diner in the California Casino. They are the home of the best .99 cent shrimp cocktail in Vegas and have an excellent ham and eggs special for a few bucks. This is one of the best tasting for the best value meals in Vegas.

March Madness continues

BaldJon — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 09:34:00 GMT

March Madness Continues 3/17/2007

Round 1 of the NCAA Division I tournament has ended and round 2 will begin. A few upsets were seen in the first games that saw the exit of Notre Dame and Duke. We all smile a little as we see the titans fall and the underdogs reign. Maybe it is because we identify with the underdog when we sit in our chair in front of the television. At our age and athletic talents we are farther from an NBA contract than the top seeded team players but maybe a miniscule bit closer with the teams of lesser known teams. Okay, if truth be told we are so far from a NBA contract that living vicariously through others is our only choice.

Now, when I typed "NCAA tournament" into my Google.com search I was given the first 20 of 4,070,000 possible places to find out about the tournament. I expertly changed my search to "2007 NCAA tournament" and dropped to 1,360,000 choices. Now that is a little more manageable. There is definitely no shortage of reading material involved in this tournament and its drama. I would guess that most of the information is written by middle aged males, a demographic that ensures the best writing for college sports.

Ohio State and Florida are still showing no signs of faltering; however there are still 32 teams (maybe less by the posting of this blog) that want a chance to show what they have in the final game. There are a variety of websites that even give odds of success at each point in the tournament for each team involved. For example according to Mike Greenfield’s Team Rankings at http://teamrankings.com/ncbt/ncaa65.php Duke and Notre Dame have an over 60% chance of making it to the second round. Well, since we know the outcome of round 1, we don’t ever say 100% in college sports. According to the same bracketing experts, VA Commonwealth has a 0.21% chance of winning the tournament. I will be interested to see who beats the odds and wins the big one.

The Ugly American ...Worker

BaldJon — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 12:56:19 GMT

As middle aged males I have mentioned that our opinions finally reach a point that we begin to express them and really don’t care what others think. With that in mind, I feel that the American worker is losing their way.

In a world of “political correctness” and individual’s rights being more important than anything in the workplace, we have warped the American worker into a whining victim of perceived business thugs. Truth is the American worker is actually becoming a lazy, self centered, and something for nothing slug that would rather lie on their butts than create something of sustaining value or contribute to the success of anything admirable.

No matter where one lives in these United States, people are becoming more and more stupid. I am not casting any insult toward those that are truly mentally handicapped, but on the Americans who allow their brains to deteriorate through lack of use, avoidance of meaningful stimulation and self imposed brainlessness. It is the PS2, Xbox, television age when people work to get free money through unemployment, government agencies, worker's comp, identity theft, and pointless litigation to get their next fix of self centered, self gratifying (use your imagination) entertainment that is causing the demise of our country. Today in New York City a young 30 year old man punched a 101 year old woman in the face three or four times just to get her purse. That is a great analogy of my opinion of the thought process of the American worker.

Many workers feel computer skills can be written on a resume if they can surf the web's porn and gaming sites. Their brains are no longer of use to them for anything other than finding a way to make money without real work and sacrifice. Political correctness be damned, you can find this complacency in every race, creed, and social group, as the people in the United States are getting DUMBER.

In my current line of work, I have found some incredible Hispanic people that still know how to work hard. If Mexico, Peru, and the Dominican Republic ever get their act together politically, we could very easily become NORTH LATIN AMERICA. Unfortunately, many immigrants do fall into the same traps that US citizen's do and are enveloped by the stupidity like a fast growing Kudzu vine of the "dumb ass" variety. I want to start a website www.peoplearestumpdumb.com to highlight the stupidity of today's American, but I am afraid few would read the pithy comments of normal hard working people. Looking at ourselves in the mirror can be painful.

Workers’ unions have helped to nurture the type of American worker that I am discussing. Now, if you have ever read Upton Sinclair’s, The Jungle, you would understand the need and necessity of unions at a time when workers were treated as disposable property. Unions made great strides in strengthening employee pay, benefits, safety, and helped give them a voice in corporate America. Unfortunately, with great power comes great responsibility and humans traditionally are not up to the task, so when it has been time to change, unions have been unable to pull in the hand they have had extended for so long. Someone needs to research the positive effect that unions have had on technology and automation. Unions have priced themselves out of work by demanding higher than necessary salaries, and benefits that make capital investment in automation more profitable than keeping workers employed.

So as American workers continue to shun the idea of hard work, moral structure, and education, the rich will get richer and the poor will extend their hands and hope for some money to fall from the sky. Workers will continue to look for the “free money” available to them through government sources and pointless litigation. Individuals will look for new and improved ways in which their rights are infringed that will result in a cash pay out for pain and suffering.

Maybe we need to require the American worker to spend time with the immigrants from India, South American countries, and Asian countries that we stereotype as convenience store owners, laborers, and buffet restaurant owners. Hard working people that see the United States as the “land of opportunity” can still be successful.

The American worker must work harder to regain the momentum of entrepreneurship, and strong work ethic that made this country strong. It is time for middle aged males to step up and demand the work ethic of the past for more success in the future.

Soon I will share my opinion on the rise of Wal-Mart and how it has thrived in such a society of the current American worker. The first clue should have been the stylish blue smocks given to each worker. The back is emboldened with yellow print that asks “May I help you?” The reason they used this phrase is because many of the workers who just passed you in the store are unable or unwilling to use the phrase to address customers.

Is NASCAR really a sport?

BaldJon — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 12:48:00 GMT

Somewhere between the fans of NFL Football and World Wrestling Entertainment there lies a place for fans of what we affectionately called the "round and round" races when I was growing up in Texas. Almost 30 years later NASCAR has grown into a dynasty of overzealous fans, superstar drivers, and many millions of dollars in sponsorships. Every season fans set out in a rag tag train of cars, trucks, and recreational vehicles to follow the drivers as they try for points and cash at places like Talladega, Bristol, and Daytona. A track can be found close to most major cities in the United States.

Many of you still think of NASCAR fans as redneck, stump dump, beer drinking southerners. Now, I have a lot of friends that resemble that stereotype, many of which will shed their shirts in the hot Alabama sun at Talladega Motor Speedway. These really are individuals who should not take their shirts off in public. They insist they feel free at the motor sports events. While we stand aghast, and slightly sickened at their lack of modesty, we pray feverishly that the women they love and that love them will keep their shirts on! As Jeff Gordon's number 24 car comes within view of the stands after turn two, my friends yell "HIT THE WALL" at the driver who is oblivious to the shouts of the crowd. However, I am sure the drivers are occasionally blinded by the sun bouncing off the exposed lily white torsos of my friends.

On my mother's 60^th birthday I took her to a race in Talladega. She was a race fan in the late seventies. She followed Dale Earnhardt, the Intimidator, and cried as if she lost a good friend when he was killed in an accident. We were amazed by what happens outside the race track before during and after the events. For a long weekend, Talladega is transformed into a gypsy village of driver trailers, fans, corporate tents, and entrepreneurs. I have never seen so much beer consumed before 10 a.m. in my life. Over 120,000 people converge on each of these races to hear the thunder of the cars and the watch for the inevitable wrecks that will make the day memorable.

Although a segment of my redneck friends will always follow the "round and round" races, the stereotype is changing and NASCAR is main stream. Fans can be found all over, even NBC Nightly New Anchor Brian Williams admits to being an avid fan. Sitting next my buddies in the stands you will find professionals who will pay $100-$350 over the ticket price to rent or buy headsets that will allow them to hear direct conversations between drivers and their pit crews. If they are lucky enough to get to the race early, they could have even purchased a pass to visit the pits and meet those that make this sport so popular.

Driver Mark Martin and his #01 U.S. Army Chevrolet is the point leader going into the race on March 11 at Las Vegas Motor Speedway. The U.S. Army is his new sponsor since changing from driving the blue Viagra car. He found that in the Viagra car it was too hard to win.

Middle aged males can be found throughout a NASCAR event. Are you a fan? Tell us why.

March Madness Sports Stuff

BaldJon — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 22:10:05 GMT

Are you ready for the emotional floor pounding, net swooshing, hard running, and slam dunking of the Division I NCAA basketball playoffs? Every year 65 teams pull together to play to find out who the best team is in men’s collegiate basketball. Yes, there is a women’s league and yes there are Division II, and Division III tournaments, but the major tournament known as the pinnacle of March Madness are the games of Division I playoffs. Thirty one teams have been decided, and 34 additional teams will be chosen Sunday, March 11.

Some games are already sold out even though all the teams have yet to be bracketed. Tickets are expensive and you will pay more per ounce for a soda than gasoline has ever reached in any country in history! That’s right, an average of $53.00 a gallon for a 12 oz soft drink to enjoy with nachos made with chips and fake cheese. We gripe about paying $3.50 per gallon for a fossil fuel that took millions of years to form, but we will gladly pay over $50.00 a gallon for flavored carbonated water. That, along with the $130-$225 seat will allow you to enjoy the court shoes squeaking below you.

The critics have their favorites. The Ohio State Buckeyes will top a lot of lists. The Kansas Jayhawks and Wisconsin Badgers will be in the hunt. I traditionally pull for one of two teams. Texas A&M, who is definitely not normally a major fixture in the playoffs and is currently having the best year they have had since I started following them, and the underdog. As I watch the bracket work its way to the “Sweet Sixteen”, “Elite Eight” and “Final Four” I watch for the underdog. The team that is the least likely to win and become the Cinderella Story for the year. It’s not that I like to see the top teams loose, but since they are expected to win, it is a lot more exciting to see the team the critics count out win the big one. In 2006 we all watched as the number 11 seed, George Mason Patriots, made it to the final four and almost made it to the final game.

If you get a chance to actually go to one of the games, let us know about your experience here at www.middleagedmale.com . We will follow the tournament and work to share observations, outcomes, and anything that appears to be of interest. I will not be able to attend a tournament game, but I will be seated in front of my 55 inch Sony projection television with my favorite soda and real nachos!

Great information on the tournament can be found at www.ncaasports/basketball/mens .

Ear and nose hair of the Middle Aged Male by BaldJon

MiddleAgedMan — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 11:51:02 GMT

So, as a middle aged male have you become a “plucker”, “trimmer”, or do you just let it grow uncontrollably from every direction? What I am describing is a middle aged event that begins quietly but then, overnight, you notice something changing on both sides of your head and the middle of your face. The phenomenon is the uncontrolled and indiscriminate growth of ear and nose hair. That’s right, when most of us are worrying about losing the hair on our head, we are able to grow a plethora of hair on the surfaces of our ears and hair of untold length begin to emerge from our nostrils. Especially troubling is the hair that grows in the center of the ear and that in some older men looks like a Chia Pet gone mad.

I did some research on the subject on the beloved internet and discovered that the concern with ear and nose hair is not only voiced by me. Men as young as thirty are asking ways to combat unwanted ear and nose hair growth that invades their manly features. Now, as my blog name suggests (BaldJon) you may have realized that I am without much hair on my head. When I started noticing the hair in my ears and tried to discuss it seriously with other men my age, they suggested I transplant it to the top of my head or allow it to grow for a unique comb over. Neither idea, although strongly considered, had much promise. I realized quickly that it is best not to discuss the subject, especially with friends whose ears look like a porcupine has burrowed itself into the ear canal. Reading the net, many suggest that shaving or trimming is the best approach since plucking can lead to sores open to infection, several of which sounded very disgusting.

Now, I purchased a pair of trimmers designed to gently trim unwanted hair in the ears and nose. Realizing the trimmer required two AAA batteries, I rummaged through the kitchen junk drawer and found two batteries and placed them in the trimmer. The trimmer sprung to life with 200 rpm of cutting efficiency. I gently placed the trimmer to my unwanted nose hair and immediately realized that I needed new batteries. The 200 rpm quickly slowed down like an overworked weed eater in long grass and wrapped the hairs around the motorized mechanism. I now felt the tears welling in my eyes as I tried to determine how I was going to free myself from the device that was now entangled in nose hair that are apparently hooked directly to nerves through my groin down to my toes. I gently turned the unit back in the opposite direction thinking it would unwind. Most did, but using the band aid analogy of pull fast and it won’t hurt, I yelled in pain as the hairs that had not unwound ripped from my nose. I determined a new approach was needed. I now lock the bathroom door and gently use small scissors to clip the little devils that dare to pass the borders of my nostrils. You must lock the door so you are not mocked by your family or startled so the scissors are driven deep into your nose or eye; a difficult injury to explain at the emergency room.

So now I hope each of you has found some comfort in the experience of another middle aged male living with the unwanted ear and nose hair growth. It is liberating being able to share with you some of the trials of middle age. You are not alone.

Vegas Baby! Day 2 continued (A Broadway Show and a French restaurant)

MiddleAgedMan — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 09:37:16 GMT

At the end of the last report we were leaving the Barbary Coast and heading across to Paris (that sounds kind of strange doesn't it?) which is located on the next block. Before I start on Paris I want to mention that the Barbary Coast was recently purchased by Harrah's and is to be renamed (gag) Bill's Gamblin' Hall.

That sucks. The name and the fact that Harrah's (curse them forever) has bought it.

Okay, on to Paris (also owned by Harrah's).

Paris is a great place for a couple to stay although it is pricey to gamble there. I've stayed there a couple of times with my wife and have always been pleased. If you look carefully, you can find a $5 table there sometimes, but most of them are at least $15 and the great majority are $25 and up.

One of the irritating things about Paris is that all of the employees are apparently required to use a lot of French words and speak in a French accent. I understand it is a "theme" but I'm pretty sure all of the noise from the slot machines prevent anyone from thinking they are strolling through the City of Paris.

Still, it is a very nice place and I highly recommend anyone visiting the strip, stop by and have a look. The waitresses' outfits are worth a trip by themselves.

One place to visit while you're there is Le Creperie, for one of their...guess what?....crepes. Whether sweet or savory they are excellent, maybe a little pricey, but in my view worth it.

Our next stop was to see The Producers, the Broadway musical written by Mel Brooks. I have seen the movie starring Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick several times and was looking forward to seeing it live. If you've seen the movie, then the stage production is almost identical, just slightly shorter as a couple of the songs have been removed. The actors are different than the movie but are great. The part of the gay director is played by David Hasselhoff, which is the real reason I wanted to see this live version. I couldn't imagine him in the part but he did a great job. He was certainly willing to stretch for this role and for that alone I'd give him 5 stars. The show definitely gets a thumbs up as it is funny, well done, the acting was excellent overall, and you will find yourself humming some of the songs when the show is over.

We grabbed a cab to the Mandalay Bay for our 10:30 reservation at Fleur de Lys.

This restaurant is owned and operated by Chef Hubert Keller. Anyone who has watched the Top Chef show on Bravo TV has probably seen Chef Keller appearing as a guest judge.

Usually when we do a guy trip to Las Vegas we eat at steakhouses and buffets, with the occasional cafe thrown into the mix. This time we decided ahead of time to put a French restaurant onto the list. I was curious about French food and had read several places that Vegas was one of the better locales to find excellent French cuisine. We chose Fleur de Lys based on the menu selections, price, and online reviews. For a sample menu from Fleur de Lys, not the one we chose from, click here.

Tumerica had suggested that we opt for the multiple course tasting menu as opposed to selecting an entrée, which we did.

We chose the five course menu, along with the suggested wine pairing. There was a very interesting Vegetarian Feast on the menu that I was tempted to try, but opted for more conventional fare.

We made our menu choices (more below on that) but before they started serving these we were brought an amuse bouche, which is simply a small taste of something designed to stimulate the palate. In this case, it was smoked salmon tartare arranged in such a manner as to artfully suggest a crustacean. Very tasty.

For the appetizer course we each had a choice of Jumbo Lump Crab, Burgundy Escargot with garlic and Parmesan Gnocchi, Artisan Foie Gras "Au Torchon", Seared Ahi Tuna, Smoked Salmon Raviolis with Guacamole, Salad of Mache, Oven Roasted Boneless Quail Breast, Chilled Maine Lobster Salad, and, for an extra $70, Caspian Sea Osetra Caviar.

It was a hard choice but I chose the Foie Gras and HH (my buddy) chose the Lobster Salad.

The Foie Gras was served with a Quince Compote, Honey Grenadine, Micro Greens, and Fresh Brioche bread. The Lobster Salad was served with a watermelon granite', Balsamic Vinegar Reduction and Vanilla Oil.

I had tried Pate de Foie Gras in the past and never cared for it, but wanted to give it another try in a real French restaurant before giving it up for good. I'm glad I did.

The medallion of foie gras was roughly that of a silver dollar, maybe slightly larger and about a quarter to a half inch thick. I was a little shaky on how to eat this, but I finally took a portion of the brioche bread (cooked in jigger sized porcelain cups to make the whole loaf about two bites, very nice) smeared the foie gras on it and then chunked it into my mouth. The foie gras totally surprised me. It was rich, creamy, and yet extremely delicate in flavor. I tried the next few bites adding the compote, the micro greens, etc. The portion size turned out to be perfect because it was so rich I really was finished one bite before it was all gone.

HH's lobster salad was also excellent, although neither he nor I could taste any vanilla. The wine chosen for my foie gras was sweet and matched perfectly. Unfortunately, I didn't write any of the wine names down and will just refer to them as I can.

The next course was the Fish, Crustacean, and Mollusk course. I was disappointed to hear that they Monkfish was not available and has to rethink my selection. Our other choices were Slow Roasted Alaskan King Salmon, Pan Seared Diver Scallops, and Roasted Maine Lobster. HH chose the Scallops while I went for the Lobster this time.

The Scallops were served with Porcini Lasagna, Wild Mushroom Tea, and Black Truffle Chantilly.

The Lobster was accompanied by Bamboo Rice Risotto, Glazed Carrots and Zucchini, and Lobster Mint Sauce.

Excellent all the way around. The scallops were cooked perfectly, as was the lobster. The risotto was one of the best dishes I have ever had anywhere. In my opinion, the risotto was so good it put the lobster into the background. The flavor was delicate yet distinctive and the texture of the risotto was perfect, creamy yet still granular.

HH was a little surprised when he bit into a hunk of truffle, he found the piece to be a little big and thus almost overpowering.

The wine chosen for the lobster was a nice chardonnay, again a perfect match.

The next menu section was entitled "Steaks and other Proteins". The options were Le Steak 12 oz Aged Prime Rib Eye Steak (for an additional $10), Filet Mignon topped with Sauteed Foie Gras (for an additional $25), Filet Mignon with Braised Oxtail Tortellini, Kobe Beef FleurBurger "Rossini" (for an additional $25), Roasted California Squab, Roasted New Zealand Venison Loin, Colorado Lamb Loin and Shoulder Canneloni.

For this course I strongly considered the Kobe burger, the Filet toped with the Foie Gras, and the Squab. I chose the Squab first because I have always been curious and second because HH was leery of trying it. He chose the Venison instead.

The squab was cooked medium rare and was served with Parsnip Tortellini, Daikon, and Ice Wine Vinegar Raisin Sauce. The wine choice was a very heavy Cabernet Sauvignon, a California if I'm not mistaken. I was a little skeptical when I first sipped the wine, before the course was served, since it was a fairly heavy red and I'm not a big Cab fan anyway. But, once I tried it with the Squab I have to admit the wine was again a perfect match. For those of you who have not had it, the taste of Squab was a cross between duck, chicken, and dove, leaning more toward the duck end of the spectrum. I passed a small bite to HH, who agreed it was very tasty. The Parsnip tortellini was an excellent accompaniment.

The venison was likewise perfectly cooked and extremely tasty, no wild taste at all. The fig compote served with the venison was the only item HH didn't care for.

Our next course was the Artisanal French Cheese course, consisting of four cheeses along with a few side items. The cheeses ranged from a creamy brie to a very hard orange cheese. All were excellent. The wine pairing was again a sweet wine. Again I failed to get the names of the cheeses but since this is really a restaurant review as opposed to a cheese review I would jusy say that if you visit the Fleur de Lys, the cheese course is a must.

The dessert menu is a full page and includes, a Citrus Trio, Chocolate Feast, Fresh Fruit Minestrone, Caramel Variation, Quince Baekoff, Assorted Sorbets, or a choice of three souffles (at an additional $5), Chocolate, Pistachio, or Grand Marnier.

Even though the portion sizes had been small the food was so incredibly rich and flavorful I wanted a light dessert and after extensive waffling back and forth I chose the Citrus Trio. HH chose the Chocolate Souffle.

The Citrus Trio was described as Lemon Creme Fraiche Panna Cotta, Orange and Grape Fruit Tarragon Gelee, Citrus and Thyme "Tart", and a Mandarin Orange Sorbet. When it was delivered there was also a Meyer Lemon compote.

The flavors were very intense and, with the exception of the Panna Cotta, very tart. This is not a complaint but just something of which you should be aware. I had never had a gelee, and it was much firmer than I expected, landing somewhere between jello and gummy bears. My favorite was the Panna Cotta, which was lightly and delicately flavored and a perfect finish to this meal. The wine was a tawny port.

HH was disappointed in his soufflé finding it to be more "puddingy" then he would have liked. When that is your worst complaint about a meal, you know you've been somewhere special.

To our surprise Chef Hubert Keller was actually at the restaurant and visited the table to ask if we were enjoying our meal and to speak with us for a few minutes. He was a very gracious and kind host and made the experience that much more enjoyable. The ambiance of the restaurant matches the meal perfectly, and meeting Chef Keller only added to the experience.

The meal was expensive, but certainly worth every penny. I give the Fleur de Lys my highest recommendation and suggest that you enjoy the meal as we did, by selecting the five course tasting menu with the wine pairing chosen by the house.

Interruption in Vegas trip report to discuss blackjack at the Vegas Club

MiddleAgedMan — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 11:30:00 GMT

I played more blackjack on this trip than usual and for some reason we gravitated toward the Vegas Club, located at the end of Fremont Street across Main Street from the Plaza.

The VC feels like old Vegas. Not Horseshoe old Vegas, but close. I'm still trying to figure out the theme of the place. I thought it was sports, because some of the waitresses dress as cheerleaders (and in most cases that is a mistake) and there is a sports memorabilia section but then I noticed that a lot of the dealers wear tropical shirts and the music that plays over the speakers is classic rock. I'll keep working on that question.

The staff here are very, very nice and the waitresses come by on a pretty regular basis to keep your glass filled. The drinks are small, but flow steadily.

The reason I am really writing this is because the VC has two tables that are $5 minimums and are advertised as the "Most Liberal Blackjack Rules in the World" which the website describes as "Score big by splitting aces & pairs as many times as you want! Double down on any 2, 3 or 4! And any six cards, totaling 21 or less - YOU WIN!".

The tables are usually full but I managed to find a seat.

The first thing you should be aware of is that a regular 21 pays even money. A suited 21 pays 2 to 1. There is also an option to surrender your cards for one half of your bet if you don't like your hand.

To be honest, I haven't found anyplace yet that tells you the correct way to play using these rules. I didn't like the even money pay on the blackjack, but over a couple of days gambling it seemed to come out about even when you figure in the 2X pay on suited cards, which happens pretty often.

You have to revise your double down strategy slightly. For instance, let's say you are holding a 6 and the dealer has a 6. The basic strategy tells you to double down, which is what I was doing when one of the dealers suggested I take one card before deciding to double. I did that on the next similar hand, hit a five and then doubled for a 21. The dealer had a ten under, hit and got a four which gave him twenty (which seems to happen all too often).

I need to think these rules through a little more but if you are headed to downtown Vegas I would highly recommend the Vegas Club and trying a few hands at these tables.